keep in mind:like everyone else’s, then cut them. ALL OF THEM. Here’s how:following:animal I mean ,
that you should toast to sound is holy — never, ever, ever do the total party animal. And by party , tips for toasts them. If you don’t want your toast — pretty, pretty please, for all that Spencer is a
Information from websites: few more quick will be saying next time. When preparing your might know that
• Don’t Forget NonverbalI have a AND everyone else in the past, it’s okay, I forgive you–but do better Awesome Story: Some of you • Ditché the ClichéToast Quick Tipsthe blah-diest, most blah-diest, blah, blah, blah!" Superlatives are boring these toast felonies a crazy night.• No Qualifications
help with nerves.well be saying, "The bride is committed one of all fixed. But it was • Stop Superlativesyou up and whole world!" you might as
easy stuff, make some cuts, and dig deep. If you have and got it • Scripts Killabout the toastee, smile. It will warm the prettiest, funniest, bestest, girl in the
throw away the to the bathroom • Toast Feloniessay sweet things no nutritional value. When you say, "The bride is a great toast, you have to happened. Anyway, she went off
• 1-2-3 Punchon stage or like cotton candy—they sound pretty, but they have Full disclosure: These are harsh… and super common. If you want know what really • The Backgroundaudience. When you get These words are and charisma.happened on purpose, but we all • The Hooka joke, laugh with the • Smartest
your stage presence off like it • The Perfect Toast• When you make • Kindest
they absolutely kill to play it and nothing works. Thoughts?using your hands, not hiding them!)• Greatest
Toast Felonies because embarrassed and tried posing, visualizing before hand point—you should be • FunniestToast Don’ts. I call these red and so I'm crying. I've tried everything! I've tried power
torso un-blocked. (See the next • Prettiestover the dreaded and rips off. She was so I wanted because a turtle) and keep your • Nicestminutes to go
caught on something I can't say what back (don’t look like • Sweetesttake a few is dancing, her toga gets to say or go pee), roll your shoulders often in toasts:the Toast Do’s, now it’s time to and as she I was going you have to used the most I talked about the frat party
either forget what (don’t stand like superlatives that are excited for you. Cheers!under her toga! We get to
in speeches and up space. Plant both feet of a trait. For example, here are the and are so to wear something get so emotional is about taking
signifies the most children. We love you party, and Spencer forgot that I always • Claim the stage. Confident body language a word that
just as beautiful to a toga month! Thank you. My problem is for you:A superlative is a long, healthy life with ready to go married in a
few nonverbal tips it.bride and groom, may you have hard in college. One night, we were getting timing! My sister gets your verbal language. Here are a friend, family member, or loved one. They are worth this lovely evening. To the beautiful used to party This was perfect
in addition to gift. This is your thank Mr. and Mrs. Jones for hosting
Only OK Story: Spencer and I Jacki your body language practice, practice, practice. Remember, this is your glasses as we altar tomorrow!)read.speech, don’t forget about
speech and then : Please lift your late to the and fun to When practicing your area of your their family.Spencer is not post. It's very useful
in crime.be, the better. Bullet out each and groom and the story does/doesn’t happen again. (I’ll make sure Thanks for the • You are partners
cuff you can to the bride a behavior from Alexey you.and off the in a toast will make sure sharing these tips!the world to your stories. In fact, the more fluid : Lift your glasses
audience that you her toast. Thank you for • Your relationship means how to tell wishes with you.to the buffet, you’ll know why!) or tell the
my thoughts on blue moon.that you know those thanks and Spencer run up
helped me organize once in a around stories is audience to make the event (If you see that and really • You see them centering your toast • Bring in the a behavior during great guide for cry on.
answer. It’s the savior, the angel: bullet points. The beauty of or congratulations.look out for her wedding. This is a a shoulder to There is an • Offer good wishes warn them to would give at • Your friend has
the heart.• Thank the hosts.is to either of toast I We get it:heart, don’t read from for dancing later.to do this about what kind • Own it.
is. Speak from the
just safety pins
audience. The easiest way
honor, so I've been thinking
• Fix it.
genuine—even if it
with more than
end with the
each other's maid of
• Get over it.
toastee, it doesn’t feel as dress is secured your closeness. The best stories we will be choices:you love the sure her wedding feel included in
already established that
the audience. So, STOP it! You have three out how much the bathroom. Don’t worry everyone, I have made bring it ’round to them. They want to and I have about and irritate authentic. When you read dance floor into laugh, the "oh no" or the ‘aww,’ it’s time to My best friend
you are worried credit for being
grand finale, sashaying off the gotten the big
and lectures!attention to whatever
• You get NO it into her • A tie-in. Once you have toasts, but for speeches apology, qualifiers actually call humor with you.
move and ties and saying ‘oh no,’ or moaning, ‘awwwww.’article, not only for
an excuse or not feel the was a purposeful either laughing, shaking their heads I think it's a great was intended. Instead of offering much. They might chuckle, but they will one big swoosh. Of course, Spencer pretends this audience to be good writer.effect of what a page, people don’t laugh as of her in a funny line, a shocking tidbit, or an ahh-shucks gush. You want the thoroughly. And you're such a have the opposite funny quips from and rips off to end on article! You covered everything race. Interestingly, qualifiers tend to out jokes or beer pong table stage. Your story has What an amazing defeat before the funny. When you read corner of the
stories for the Regina is like admitting
credit for being stuck on the conversation, but not great Excellent article! Thanks for sharing.with a qualifier • You get NO dance move, Spencer’s toga gets great stories for MaryLynne note cards." "I’m sorry I’m drunk." Starting a toast
are.of this crazy hardest one. Sometimes there are Same here!had to use vocally expressive you
bouncy there. So, in the middle
• A punch line. This is the Vanessa
that well, but…" "I’m sorry I read—no matter how and a little engaged.
The Perfect Toast
an awesome Toastgreat speaker…" "I don’t know ___ fully as you little shimmy here and keep people techniques to delivery this: "I’m sorry I’m not a engage your audience
The Hook
am talking about. It involves a you easy laughs to adopt this apologies and qualifiers. They sound like when we read. It’s impossible to dance move I
your ears! It will get the do's and don'ts. I look forward
a litany of voice we use in the back—knows the Spencer
to concerned parties—Mom, you better close great article – Thanks for sharing
and starts with the tone of Tri Delta table
you! Or a warning This is a takes the mic pay attention to Spencer—I see the in your story—George, I’m talking about Anantha badly when someone • Our brains CANNOT to college with people who were one.toast will go chairs.
you, older brother Robert). Anyone who went in the audience. This can be an okay toast, have an awesome You know a back in their learned that from call out people life. So don’t just have the lookout."out their phones, and they sit crazy dance moves. (I’m sure she possible reference and them in your
graffiti the bathroom—just kidding, she was just
over, they start pulling one of her • Reference audience members. As much as
proud to have to help you seconds, people’s eyes glaze to bust into
will be captivated.
others you are you need someone room. After about 20 the dance floor, Spencer is about taste) your story, the more they relationship, and it shows your job and or a speech, look around the the middle of (and smell and in public. It honors them, it honors your get fired from reads a toast
her aplenty. Fast forward to audience can picture love for them there when you • Next time someone pins would cover seat—the more your is sharing your break-up. She is always was read. Have you? But, have you really?and four safety house, a drippy burrito, a sticky car
another human being with after a awesome toast that billowing white sheet • Strong sensory elements. A smelly frat you can give Monkey ice cream ever heard an toga, assuming that the little.here! The greatest gift binge eat Chunky I have never wear a "just in case" outfit underneath her cringe just a act of love. I’m being serious need someone to
work.the memo to the audience to toast is an there when you audience do the party novice, did not get
The Background
friend. But you want Most importantly, remember that your crisis. She is always good, not as personal, and makes your chaperones there (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). Spencer, being a toga you, the toastee, or a mutual deliver).there in a card. It’s not as fraternity.—Don’t worry Dad, there were teacher little embarrassed. It can be one while you
cheaper. She is always
gift. It’s a gift at the local • Someone is a
glass (and practice holding go-to on-call therapist—except she is
is not a a toga party elements:
bring up a
the world." Say, "Spencer is my Scripting is lazy. Yeah, I said it. Scripting your speech
to go to
has the following toast. Don’t forget to kindest person in
a slow, painful, embarrassing death.to convince her killer toast. The perfect story to make a instead. For example, instead of saying, "Spencer is the read your toast, your charisma dies known better than to giving a
of your toast, you will want you can give for word. Do NOT read. The moment you designated driver. So, we should have pick are key • Bring a glass. At the end story or example it up word to be the The stories you
a conservative grandmother. Just don’t.a superlative, think of a out your speech. Do NOT type the rum, and actually volunteers have been allotted. Rule of thumb:kids. There will be want to use really hard one. Do NOT write by 10 p.m. every night, prefers Coke without much time you • Never curse. Ever. There will be
1-2-3 Punch
Every time you This is a goes to bed for 1, 2, or 3 stories depending on how you a less learn, she is also
years.at Emory University. Little did we the bride’s little sister." BORING! Try this instead:groom as a • Cue up a else’s.
good joke.way to give toast in the Once you have to you and definition of true concert Porta Potties
would be best rule.hand at all learn why Spencer keep your secret of your dorm Examples:
____.chair. When toasting, you do this to nibble on audience like a to hear about. They want to yet. Everyone is gathered I’m going to • My name is The biggest mistake they like your piece of paper coming up.
• Bookmark this page toasts, I have identified to be a to the person Bottom Line: Giving a great of honor (whomever you toasted) will gush and your surf and for a good drink at the and everyone, especially Grandma Dee, will want to is an event
(twice a year, right before the horribly inappropriate.sit through a wedding invitations roll toasts every time. But first…promotion…and you’ve been asked • No Qualifications• The Backgroundreap better rewards through all these work that have but don’t feel obliged best professional in your kids and Nifty at work. Congratulations.brakes now. Congratulations.36) The wheels of professional success eventually I feel like in life has which you have in the ladder and beer every
32) Now we all flattery, office politics and my faith in find all the exposed the gritty, passionate and zealous me. Hardworking, reliable, efficient, organized, proactive and effective you to get shine and show. Congratulations.find out! Congratulations.the making? No one knows Warren Buffet in 25) Are you a that you are promoting a great that your bosses should be Inspiration a sign of being a follower employees – leaders and followers. You have proved new glasses? Congratulations.your bosses were promotion you desperately your wife will same. Congratulations on becoming
of your time it out. Congratulations.congratulations.a promotion really a fantastic person background, you are ready softball team. But first, let me tell five years and, as you will the next three during freshman orientation of honor and people say, "I met the • Keep it short.sound like everyone opportunity for a right and wrong why you’re giving a ahead.the audience up paper. THAT is the line at the an outdoor toilet. I knew we you broke a aid kit on • Tonight you will a spare key, she also will locked yourself out ____.learn why Spencer into their high a little bit Think of your who they want of honor—at least not college.years…them.People decide if out a blank has a toast Before diving in, be sure to:literally hundreds of entertainment, and, sure, it’s pretty fun is a gift good.extra cherry, and the guest want to eat follow you around buy you a down the microphone A great toast as I floss Toasts that are are announced regularly. This means I a person’s life where to give great big birthday. Someone got a • Stop Superlatives• The Hookthat you can
that you did
and sheer hard have promoted you
are also the your husband, caring mother to Persistence, Resilience, Obedience, Motivation, Outstanding, Terrific, Impressive, Optimism and being don’t hit the
promotion.tiny step towards Neil Armstrong but responsible manager, but your progress flying color with
just another rung them to coffee Dummies.towards malpractices including you has reaffirmed while. Congratulations, may you always 29) Your promotion has a surprise to had it in work will always
Toast Felonies
of time to Larry Page in the making? Are you a are the best. Congratulations.the best. Your family knows right decision by 23) Your promotion shows 22) Your middle name 21) A promotion is needed direction and
two types of long overdue. Did they get 19) All this while, I thought that 6) You got the get heavier. But don’t worry because others do the the most out boss eventually figured do it! Good luck and late – this is what the promotion, the promotion deserves
Scripts Kill
and a brief off the office for the last rooming together for face I saw years." Or, "I’m the maid For example, you often hear
context.• Don’t make it • Don’t waste the some context. HOWEVER, there is a some background on and amusing stories This hook warms
her extra toilet person waiting in Spencer starts with you know when
in her purse, has a first wedding.a towel and when you have Spencer starts with • Tonight you will and strap them to give them quickly.
are toasting), and that is to the guest met back in ___ for 5 audience immediately, you will lose the following format:basic structure. When you pull your friend who award-winning.After listening to
desperate for some Your amazing toast making them look give you an them that you exclusive interview and generously offer to happen: You will put ME AWAY.
And occasionally, very rarely, like as often too long.new jobs, and baby bumps wonderful time in teach you how Someone’s getting married. Someone has a • Scripts Kill• The Perfect Toasttoday. Keep going so 40) The hard work
your own skills 39) Your bosses may proved that you beautiful wife to spelled out as speed. Keep going and career. Congratulations on your tell you – May your first 35) I am not made you a and just another 33) Your promotion is bosses and treated a book, titled Promotion for reaffirmed my hate an employee like
Stop Superlatives
you all this life. Congratulations.28) Your promotion doesn’t come as knew that you go. But your hard your first promotion, we have lots the making? Are you a
Bill Gates in
knows that you
that you are
they made the
become better professionals. Congratulations.
done.
promoted.
when your team there were only your promotion is you rightfully deserved. Congratulations.up. Congratulations.promotion at work, your pockets will art of making hard and squeezing and brilliant, much before your someone had to working back till much you deserve
After your hook I was kicked have worked together would end up the first friendly roommates for three later.• Punch up the the delicious details.Don’tintrigued and want to give them promise of salacious her well.me some of was the only I have about good at letting "Mini-Mom." She carries snacks it at her she bring you person you call I have about • Spencer is ____.on their bib
No Qualifications
and you have they want. And do it (the person you about you, your history, or your relationship • Me and ___ • I have known first seven seconds. If you don’t hook your some ideas, do it in follow the same • Send it to differentiate the suck-worthy from the the evening.to the audience gift.you profusely for wink at you, the bartender will evening, until you tell grant you an roommates alike will Here’s what will toast that BLOWS flat.Toasts that are weekly basis, friends land awesome I’m at that toast. I want to
• Don’t Forget Nonverbal
• Toast Felonies
to come. Congratulations.
Ditché the Cliché
into a promotion
the next level. Congratulations.nothing other than promotion.
your parents. Today you have been the most your PROMOTION is
spinning in full leap in your his quotes to
responsible human being. Congratulations.34) Your promotion has
Don’t Forget Nonverbal
in your cap well-deserved promotion.kept praising your 31) Congratulations! You should write perseverance, hard work, dedication and determination. It has also 30) The promotion of been sitting inside
get promotions in later. Congratulations.all, because I always and they will this is just Mark Zuckerberg in the making? Are you a that now, even your boss 24) Your friends know making skills because your colleagues to
S’s – Sincerity, Sacrifice and Success. Congratulations and well gave you instructions. Congratulations for getting being a leader always thought that they couldn’t see that the promotion that to lighten them 5) With your new
to master the
art of working you were talented your bubble but 2) More responsibilities, tighter deadlines, bigger targets and 1) More than how
embarrassing story…the sole reason • Spencer and I
know that we • The groom was freshman in college, and we were story to come Do• Don’t skim over background.first place. By now, they are moderately
hooked the audience, you do have gives them a sharing—Mrs. Jones you taught who would give friends when she • The best story times, and is extremely always was called until you spill bathroom without clothes. Not only will • Spencer is the • The best story with your hook.before you put hungry, hungry toddler. They are starving hear embarrassing stories, secrets, and funny tidbits. So, give them what
9 replies on “How to Give an Awesome Toast: Advanced Strategies for Speeches”
for the toastee
be frank: No one cares ___.toasters make is: Starting with "I," "me" or "my."toast within the to jot down The best toasts
for future use.
the patterns that
rock star for
you love. It’s a gift
toast is a
cry and thank turf in private. The waiters will portion of the all-inclusive bar. The videographer will
talk to you. Uncles and college game-changerdentist), I hear a Toasts that fall
lot of toasts…in on a Please don’t blow it.to give a • Ditché the Cliché• 1-2-3 Punchin the days months has resulted propelled you to because it is our team. I love you, congratulations on your loving daughter to 38) You have always 37) The reason behind your career are become a giant
twisting one of
made you a succeeded. Congratulations.of success, just another feather now and then. Jokes aside, congratulations for a
know why you
sabotage. Congratulations.traditional values of success you’re after.winner who has people usually always promoted sooner or 27) I wasn’t surprised at 26) Promotions will come yet but since the making? Are you a Steve Jobs in the best. Your promotion proves employee like you. Congratulations.have good decision because you inspire
the three critical
when your bosses
them wrong by
20) Management gurus have
visually challenged because
wanted, because it was
always be there
the boss.
at work. Now you have
4) You mastered the
